We have a Hat.....

January 5. 2009

we have a hat, but not much more......

I am going to start with some leftovers from the last time I was inspired to write....quite a while now. August of 2008.

That is when we became "proud owners of a Kyrgyz hat. I dont know why, but it made me really happy this morning. I guess with all the news about changing policies, and.... then I trailed off.

Our friends were traveling to China to bring home Cha, and I said, "So wonderful that she came home so young and I hope, easily. I wonder every day if our child is born today - born yet. But my new thing is to try to enjoy what I have right now.

Be here now."

And then I couldnt bring myself to post. Or even finish my thoughts on the subject. The policies in Kyrgyz are being changed, hopefully for the better, but almost all referrals groaned to a halt and over 40 families are still stuck in transit. Some have traveled for several trips, and now there is no timeline.

Our agency went on a exploratory trip and came back with a video of one of the orphanges they are helping support. It is in Osh and the children have hearing loss or are deaf. It was amazing. They took the kids to the market to buy coats and shoes. It does seem from the images, and what the director that went on the trip wrote, there is a need for adoption in this country.

With the question of need, we supported some kids on a Christian web site, and I just discovered a non-religious site that looks cool....the site we helped on is from one of the Kyrgy Adopt group:

http://www.actofkindness.blogspot.com/

John really is getting help to the people that need it. The other I just glanced at but looked really cool:

http://www.alpinefund.org/Home.html


And just recently there is some promises of motion in January. I want to see some people continuing on their journeys before ours begin. Some people who where just a bit a head have children home, others are stuck in the journey.

The road is wild.

Eli is growing like a weed. The holidays still have him amped up. Relatives, our friends, so many came to visit. We had Christmas Eve with our bay area family, which is growing by leaps and bounds. Cha, home from China in August at 11 months and Jes home from Korea at 11 months just in time for Christmas. They brought their parents, and then E's Godmonsters and God Parents and we had a wonderful celebration, filled with our this just-add-water and mix-things-up family.

I wasn't sure where our road is leading us; I still have no idea.

My band is going through changes, but things are going along. I thought we would be becoming new parents, so I wasnt particularly worried about the band. What would happen would happen. We are planning on doing a live album and my heart and head are getting into that idea. Ibs will be out with the other group a bunch, but what does that mean? and my family may have a new addition, but when? I dont know if I should book shows or not. This is the third time I have been worried about booking things. What if we should travel to Kyrgyzstan and I have some concert I need to play? What if the timeline is so long we give up on the process. Should we consider domestic adoption? Should we even rock the boat?

Life is sweet with one wonderful boy....his journey was so fast and furious and we really needed that. This time, I wonder what we need, what my music needs, which way I should look, give my energy.

And that brings me back to the simple idea, BE HERE NOW.

Okay, I'll try, but it took me several expensive years of fantastic therapy to be able to believe in making plans for the future and I would like to hold onto some of that work. :)