Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Late Night Rambles

July is slipping into August. Still waiting.

I am now less patient with waiting, and yet, it is really just the beginning of it. Waiting with a picture is more so, and waiting after the first trip, I don't even want to go there, yet. And what about people waiting for years, really what do I have to complain about?

I called the agency today and asked about the other families to try and include them in the first BAKE picnic this weekend. And, the agency said the coordinator is going to Kyrgyzstan this week. What that means, I have no idea.

Maybe it means we will get a referral soon. Or maybe not. Or maybe yes. Or, then again, maybe not. I DONT KNOW, and I guess it is best to try and be cool.

BAKE (Bay Area Kyrgyzstan Entourage) sounds like a good group of people. I am looking forward to taking Eli and meeting the people I have met online. I really like the Kyrgyzstan Yahoo group; it has some good threads and wise voices. And good support. I think we can build the BAKE to be a support for our children, these children from the other side of the planet. That is my hope.

I have been reading a bunch of adoption books lately (
The Family of Adoption - J. M Pavao especially) and trying to get my head around questions Eli has been asking and some of the behavior that is coming up in his 3 and three quarters journey. Deciding where issues are adoption related and where they are typical I-am-growing-up and I-will-have-choice, that 3 year old differentiation, I have no idea. I guess we will just figure it out as we go along.

I am trying to slow down again to really be with him. Boy! What a ride. He loves to laugh.

He did want to know, maybe 6-8 weeks ago, how did we get him. Him, the specific boy to us the specific family. I didn't know how to answer, because that wasnt supposed to be on the table till he was seven. I made something up.

In my reading, there are two threads that people seem to go with. Dry fact. I dont know, it was random, and romantic, it was meant to be. People have problems with both. Maybe what really needs to be said again and again, is, I can only imagine you, or should it be, you are the perfect child for this family. I am so glad it is you....

That is really the story of parenting. On the fly, just when you least expect it, can you connect, can you field that question out of the blue? Can you try to figure out how to deal with the new emerging, boundary stretching person, right here, right now?

Each day, one day at a time.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The First Steps

July 9th, 2008

This is my first step to document our trip on The Road Forward. We, a family of three people and one philosopher dog, Rumsey, are prospective adoptive parents (PAP's) of a young wee person from Kyrgyzstan.

I had great news this week.
On the 1st of July, our dossier (our stack of papers saying we are people who would really like to add a baby to our family, and yes, we want to love said baby and we promise to take care of said baby, always, FOREVER) was quickly sent to the Embassy to catch up with 3 others that had been stalled there for more than a month. And soon, it will be picked up by the coordinator of the in-country program, and he will deliver it to be translated and then we wait for a referral.

Once we get a referral and say yes, at some undisclosed time in the future, we will be given permission to travel, most likely with the three other families, to CENTRAL ASIA, to the other side of the world, a small country called Kyrgyzstan or the Kyrgyz Republic, and hopefully meet the newest member of our family.

The trip is a minimum of 22 hours away. Either way you go. We will need to go twice.

So, still waiting. But at least in motion.

The three of us plus Rumsey:

My family is my son, my husband and myself, and the aforementioned philosopher dog. I am a musician, I play violin and run a group called Tango No. 9, and juggle that with being a mom.

Eli came home to us from Guatemala at 10 weeks old, almost four years ago, I often say he flew home. It was a short journey, less than six months from the day we decided to try and adopt, to the day he came home, intense, and maybe I'll speak more to it at a later date, but, suffice to say, he rocks. He, theoretically, is thrilled about being a big brother. We read about it, talk about it and he says the baby has been born.

None of us know if it is a boy or a girl. Healthy and happy is our dream.