Late Night Rambles

July is slipping into August. Still waiting.

I am now less patient with waiting, and yet, it is really just the beginning of it. Waiting with a picture is more so, and waiting after the first trip, I don't even want to go there, yet. And what about people waiting for years, really what do I have to complain about?

I called the agency today and asked about the other families to try and include them in the first BAKE picnic this weekend. And, the agency said the coordinator is going to Kyrgyzstan this week. What that means, I have no idea.

Maybe it means we will get a referral soon. Or maybe not. Or maybe yes. Or, then again, maybe not. I DONT KNOW, and I guess it is best to try and be cool.

BAKE (Bay Area Kyrgyzstan Entourage) sounds like a good group of people. I am looking forward to taking Eli and meeting the people I have met online. I really like the Kyrgyzstan Yahoo group; it has some good threads and wise voices. And good support. I think we can build the BAKE to be a support for our children, these children from the other side of the planet. That is my hope.

I have been reading a bunch of adoption books lately (The Family of Adoption - J. M Pavao especially) and trying to get my head around questions Eli has been asking and some of the behavior that is coming up in his 3 and three quarters journey. Deciding where issues are adoption related and where they are typical I-am-growing-up and I-will-have-choice, that 3 year old differentiation, I have no idea. I guess we will just figure it out as we go along.

I am trying to slow down again to really be with him. Boy! What a ride. He loves to laugh.

He did want to know, maybe 6-8 weeks ago, how did we get him. Him, the specific boy to us the specific family. I didn't know how to answer, because that wasnt supposed to be on the table till he was seven. I made something up.

In my reading, there are two threads that people seem to go with. Dry fact. I dont know, it was random, and romantic, it was meant to be. People have problems with both. Maybe what really needs to be said again and again, is, I can only imagine you, or should it be, you are the perfect child for this family. I am so glad it is you....

That is really the story of parenting. On the fly, just when you least expect it, can you connect, can you field that question out of the blue? Can you try to figure out how to deal with the new emerging, boundary stretching person, right here, right now?

Each day, one day at a time.