I have a boy who is in Kindergarten.
Hard to believe, but it is true. It feels like just days ago that we traveled to bring him home and we were met at the airport by all our friends. We went home and had a big party, (he passed right out) with food brought in from Mom is Cooking, a departed Mexican Restaurant in SF. We couldn't believe he was going to stay, but that is how adoption works, the wild creation of a forever family.
Our hearts still are so big for him. Our dog was overwhelmed, and at times, so was I. The first child is so surprising, the intensity, the love. the lack of sleep! How long the first year takes and yet how quickly the time goes by. The crazy feeling when you have to take clothes out of rotation, because, suddenly they don't fit. How they grow, literally, over night.
Now, he is a big brother. And such a mensh about it, most days. He loves his sister and now that I am not telling him no all day long, he is doing really well with it. Walking the dog is still hard in the afternoon for him, but...
The theme at school is detectives and he is eating it up. He loves the things he is interested in with such passion. I feel so lucky to have him in my life.
Miss B just busted out of her diapers and into the next size, again. She is on the move, crawling, standing, walking with your fingers on her hands, talking. This morning, I really think I heard her say brother for Eli and mama for me, but lets hear the repetition....but it really, really sounded like that. She talks a TON, mostly just sentence sounds. The big news is that her head circumference went from the 5% to the 75%! WHOO-HOOO. Big news.
And now, how to figure out how to go back to work part time, keep the marriage on track and get some sleep, but it is the first few months. A deep breath, please.
maybe another.....
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
No performance tonight
Ok, there was never a performance tonight, but tomorrow was a party for our family.
We canceled it due to stomach flu. Which now two children have, or E, who is 6 tomorrow, and Dash who is visiting from the northwest and 13. D has always been one of my favorites, so i am so very sorry the two of them got sick. Exploratorium - a petri dish of love two days before the labor day weekend.
Now, the birthday boy has bounced a bit like toast. The big boy is still very sick. The baby is sleeping as I write this and woke up with a big smile on her face at 6 am or so. So dont love 6 am.
Everyday, throughout the day, I will often think of things I want to post about, then the time comes, the baby and the boy are asleep, the dog is walked, the DH is either working, watching TV or sleeping, and I get my computer out and look at stuff in my inbox, wondering what I have forgotten to finish, and my mind goes blank. Tired mom brain.
Miss B is really moving and growing. The most exciting news is at her 9 month check up, her head circumference is in the 75 %! YEAH! The doctor was really excited and thus, so am I. Her height is up to 25% and her weight is not to be published....no I actually have forgotten if the doc said 60 or 90%. She did say we probably dont know her true % as of yet, they are still balancing out. YEAH!
She crawls, she stands, she babbles and perhaps talks, hard to say. She babbles in response to things, usually babble sentences, sometimes actual sentences, but the men debate it. Andrea just repeats what she says. E said, what, do you speak baby? Andrea and I often understand her. DH thinks we are nuts. She is very happy and very, very busy.
More pictures soon.
Two more survivors went down in the "try to beat the stomach virus" weekend....last night, the dear baby from Portland tossed his cookies all over the kitchen. He was in a backpack, so also in the line of fire was his mother, Sheri and the kitchen floor. It was spectacular. I joined the ranks about two hours later. Now, they have fled for home (okay their tickets were set, but I do hope they return, someday!) and started in on thinking about what might come next.
What was supposed to happen so didn't, it is funny. Huge weekend, lots of plans, none of which happened, but instead, we hung out, watch the kids play, said goodbye to friends, so suddenly, and wait for September to begin it's thing.
Here's to a great year.
We canceled it due to stomach flu. Which now two children have, or E, who is 6 tomorrow, and Dash who is visiting from the northwest and 13. D has always been one of my favorites, so i am so very sorry the two of them got sick. Exploratorium - a petri dish of love two days before the labor day weekend.
Now, the birthday boy has bounced a bit like toast. The big boy is still very sick. The baby is sleeping as I write this and woke up with a big smile on her face at 6 am or so. So dont love 6 am.
Everyday, throughout the day, I will often think of things I want to post about, then the time comes, the baby and the boy are asleep, the dog is walked, the DH is either working, watching TV or sleeping, and I get my computer out and look at stuff in my inbox, wondering what I have forgotten to finish, and my mind goes blank. Tired mom brain.
Miss B is really moving and growing. The most exciting news is at her 9 month check up, her head circumference is in the 75 %! YEAH! The doctor was really excited and thus, so am I. Her height is up to 25% and her weight is not to be published....no I actually have forgotten if the doc said 60 or 90%. She did say we probably dont know her true % as of yet, they are still balancing out. YEAH!
She crawls, she stands, she babbles and perhaps talks, hard to say. She babbles in response to things, usually babble sentences, sometimes actual sentences, but the men debate it. Andrea just repeats what she says. E said, what, do you speak baby? Andrea and I often understand her. DH thinks we are nuts. She is very happy and very, very busy.
More pictures soon.
Two more survivors went down in the "try to beat the stomach virus" weekend....last night, the dear baby from Portland tossed his cookies all over the kitchen. He was in a backpack, so also in the line of fire was his mother, Sheri and the kitchen floor. It was spectacular. I joined the ranks about two hours later. Now, they have fled for home (okay their tickets were set, but I do hope they return, someday!) and started in on thinking about what might come next.
What was supposed to happen so didn't, it is funny. Huge weekend, lots of plans, none of which happened, but instead, we hung out, watch the kids play, said goodbye to friends, so suddenly, and wait for September to begin it's thing.
Here's to a great year.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Life and how to live it
OK, was the woman at the store yesterday being rude because of race or not?
This question hasn't come up often for me, as my children rock, and we are just leaving the cute baby age where no one says ANYTHING, except, isn't the baby beautiful, AND I couldn't be whiter if I tried. So, why would I think of race first? In fact, on a plane to Oklahoma with baby man, 5 plus years ago, some sweet passenger said, he looks just like you. I screamed in my head, JUST LIKE ME IF I WERE GUATEMALAN, right!
But, almost 6 is going through a phase of contrariness and surprise hyperactivity (we call it spazzy) perhaps as an attempt to get attention after the arrival of his dear baby sister, maybe due to too much apple juice. So, here we were at the check out counter of the store he didnt want to go to and he was helping put groceries on the conveyor belt and he started tossing the food up there, a bit wildly and the check out clerk came down on him like a load of bricks. Was it because he was brown? HOW DO YOU KNOW?
Of course, I start mentally checking us out. How do we appear? We were all in our dog clothes from walking the dog and I looked at him and he had some extra smile from some miscellaneous food or beverage and is badly in need of a haircut, even perhaps a meeting with a hair-brush, and there I am in my Target Tie Dye, the baby carrier, with Miss Thing, who is BLACK and my dog clothes, so not our white table cloth best, but....if he were white, he would just have that summertime unkempt look, so Martha's Vinyard, CA style...we were just walking the dog, right?
I have read as a family of color you need to watch what you wear more. I do believe it is true.
She back pedaled, and as he was being spazzy, I didn't intervene. (Was that a MISTAKE?) We talked about it in the car and I said it had made me really mad that she told him to behave, as he was my child, but I also said he needed to think about behaving in public some. (After the conveyor belt incident, he went to tease the baby, probably in an attempt to be cure, and bit her foot...the baby cried. PERFECT timing, my kind, generous, excellent son.) I, at the time, decided that the natural consequence of the first situation was that he have to listen to her opinions on the matter, but I worry that I may need to protect him more. The natural consequence of the small nibble was to decamp and get OUT of the store.
Until I did the double take about what we looked like, I didnt even THINK of RACE. Why? Because I am white, why would race be important? But, there was something in the quickness of her snap. OK, maybe she is a snappy person at the end of her shift, but, he is just 5....and gorgeous (not that I am biased or anything), and my kid. So what if he is a bit sloppy after a dog walk, right?
Why is it always at the grocery store? Wall-Mart, Safeway, filling in your brand here....
The bummer is that there is no way to tell, was it because of race or not, but to be brown in this world (with a black sister) and have people treat you decently is not always easy. We are beginning to learn that together, but ultimately, it will be his job.
I don't want him unprepared. I don't know if I can prepare him.
This question hasn't come up often for me, as my children rock, and we are just leaving the cute baby age where no one says ANYTHING, except, isn't the baby beautiful, AND I couldn't be whiter if I tried. So, why would I think of race first? In fact, on a plane to Oklahoma with baby man, 5 plus years ago, some sweet passenger said, he looks just like you. I screamed in my head, JUST LIKE ME IF I WERE GUATEMALAN, right!
But, almost 6 is going through a phase of contrariness and surprise hyperactivity (we call it spazzy) perhaps as an attempt to get attention after the arrival of his dear baby sister, maybe due to too much apple juice. So, here we were at the check out counter of the store he didnt want to go to and he was helping put groceries on the conveyor belt and he started tossing the food up there, a bit wildly and the check out clerk came down on him like a load of bricks. Was it because he was brown? HOW DO YOU KNOW?
Of course, I start mentally checking us out. How do we appear? We were all in our dog clothes from walking the dog and I looked at him and he had some extra smile from some miscellaneous food or beverage and is badly in need of a haircut, even perhaps a meeting with a hair-brush, and there I am in my Target Tie Dye, the baby carrier, with Miss Thing, who is BLACK and my dog clothes, so not our white table cloth best, but....if he were white, he would just have that summertime unkempt look, so Martha's Vinyard, CA style...we were just walking the dog, right?
I have read as a family of color you need to watch what you wear more. I do believe it is true.
She back pedaled, and as he was being spazzy, I didn't intervene. (Was that a MISTAKE?) We talked about it in the car and I said it had made me really mad that she told him to behave, as he was my child, but I also said he needed to think about behaving in public some. (After the conveyor belt incident, he went to tease the baby, probably in an attempt to be cure, and bit her foot...the baby cried. PERFECT timing, my kind, generous, excellent son.) I, at the time, decided that the natural consequence of the first situation was that he have to listen to her opinions on the matter, but I worry that I may need to protect him more. The natural consequence of the small nibble was to decamp and get OUT of the store.
Until I did the double take about what we looked like, I didnt even THINK of RACE. Why? Because I am white, why would race be important? But, there was something in the quickness of her snap. OK, maybe she is a snappy person at the end of her shift, but, he is just 5....and gorgeous (not that I am biased or anything), and my kid. So what if he is a bit sloppy after a dog walk, right?
Why is it always at the grocery store? Wall-Mart, Safeway, filling in your brand here....
The bummer is that there is no way to tell, was it because of race or not, but to be brown in this world (with a black sister) and have people treat you decently is not always easy. We are beginning to learn that together, but ultimately, it will be his job.
I don't want him unprepared. I don't know if I can prepare him.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
She crawls, she is on the move
Okay, old news now, but miss B crawls. She is an expert.
On the 21st of July she moved two inches forward in the morning and 2 inches in the afternoon, and was delighted and a bit freaked out. She had been going backwards for a while, but on Sunday July 25, two months after she came home, she started crawling. She is amazing. She has immediately started sitting on her heals and trying to think about being upright. WOW. Balance is a trip for her, so today alone she fell three times and cried. Oh well. That is what the cranial work is for, right?
The Cranial Massage is going great. Her head is way more symmetrical, and she has relaxed a ton. Her muscles are much less tense, I'd say a bit more than 50% of the way there and her nervous system much more integrated. She is very, very active, but she finally likes the Ergo carrier. I have used the Bjorn, but it it an old style and hurts my back.
Young Master E is sick. He got a high fever last Tuesday night and had to miss fishy camp for the rest of the week. An icky virus that wasnt strep, which is a bacterial infection. Didnt eat anything for a week. Struggled to get him to swallow some liquids, but luckily he stayed hydrated enough. A diet of ginger ale, TV and I-Pad makes a fever boy okay, I guess. He always runs a high fever, so with Advil it goes down to 101, and without it hits 103 and above pretty much right away. Sore throat, two doctor visits, and now, he STILL has a small fever. He is better, but it isnt quite done. Darn it. The doctor at the after hours clinic this weekend said if he still had a fever on Monday, he should get a test for mono. Bummer.
The plus is, MDH was home. He hung with E and I hung with missy almost all weekend. She and I slept in E's bed of all places. She is really calming down and starting to prefer me. We went to a Party for Carolyn visiting from France and B was really happy to see people and readily went to them with no obvious distress. Happy to see her auntie Beth and godfather Ed, laughed outright at Ted and loved up Kristen and was happy with Carolyn and Chris's friend Judy.
But....today, she was clingy and wouldn't sleep for more than 30 minutes at a stretch. I guess I should keep her a bit closer, but she needs to move with the crawling thing. FLOOR TIME. I must get on the floor a bunch, hang out and be with her. I did today, and I also carried her when she got upset. She LOVES the new carrier and looks up, sees me, and cracks up. We went on a nice walk and she fell asleep. floor time, carry time, floor time, sleep.
A nice part about E being sick is she and I have hung out and connected, meeting just a bit more. E is an amazing brother and loves to play with her. It is hard to keep them apart. I hope we all stay healthy. Bummer is I sort of miss him, even though he is around. Just we are not as in sync.
Such an amazing experience, to have the two of them in our lives. We are so incredibly lucky they came home to us. I try to remember that when I am cranky, tired of doing the mounds of dishes, tired of playing BATMAN or BEN 10, and I dont want to clean up the cereal that I let her play with and now has hardened on the high chair. I didnt let E do that kind of thing and he hates getting messy. it almost killed me today to let her do it and I made her take a shower afterward. She loved it.
We did two activities from the OUT OF SYNC CHILD HAS FUN, and incredible book my sister lent to me, which has great ideas for things to do with all kids. Wrapped E up like a mummy, twice and did some shaving cream craziness and E "shaved" with his father. He didnt want us to post the picture, so I wont, but boy he was cute. Tomorrow, he is going to become a burrito and a caterpillar that turns into a butterfly.
E missed Andrea. So do I.
We were going to grandma's tomorrow, but I have to wait and see what the doctor says and if he has a fever still. Bummer.
I am so glad no one else got the virus as it was icky.
Found some amazing sponsorship programs today. One for Guatemala and one for Ethiopia. Here is what I found:
http://coeef.org/
http://www.commonhope.org/index.htm
With the economic downturn many people are having to not sponsor their children. Help them stay in school.
On the 21st of July she moved two inches forward in the morning and 2 inches in the afternoon, and was delighted and a bit freaked out. She had been going backwards for a while, but on Sunday July 25, two months after she came home, she started crawling. She is amazing. She has immediately started sitting on her heals and trying to think about being upright. WOW. Balance is a trip for her, so today alone she fell three times and cried. Oh well. That is what the cranial work is for, right?
The Cranial Massage is going great. Her head is way more symmetrical, and she has relaxed a ton. Her muscles are much less tense, I'd say a bit more than 50% of the way there and her nervous system much more integrated. She is very, very active, but she finally likes the Ergo carrier. I have used the Bjorn, but it it an old style and hurts my back.
Young Master E is sick. He got a high fever last Tuesday night and had to miss fishy camp for the rest of the week. An icky virus that wasnt strep, which is a bacterial infection. Didnt eat anything for a week. Struggled to get him to swallow some liquids, but luckily he stayed hydrated enough. A diet of ginger ale, TV and I-Pad makes a fever boy okay, I guess. He always runs a high fever, so with Advil it goes down to 101, and without it hits 103 and above pretty much right away. Sore throat, two doctor visits, and now, he STILL has a small fever. He is better, but it isnt quite done. Darn it. The doctor at the after hours clinic this weekend said if he still had a fever on Monday, he should get a test for mono. Bummer.
The plus is, MDH was home. He hung with E and I hung with missy almost all weekend. She and I slept in E's bed of all places. She is really calming down and starting to prefer me. We went to a Party for Carolyn visiting from France and B was really happy to see people and readily went to them with no obvious distress. Happy to see her auntie Beth and godfather Ed, laughed outright at Ted and loved up Kristen and was happy with Carolyn and Chris's friend Judy.
But....today, she was clingy and wouldn't sleep for more than 30 minutes at a stretch. I guess I should keep her a bit closer, but she needs to move with the crawling thing. FLOOR TIME. I must get on the floor a bunch, hang out and be with her. I did today, and I also carried her when she got upset. She LOVES the new carrier and looks up, sees me, and cracks up. We went on a nice walk and she fell asleep. floor time, carry time, floor time, sleep.
A nice part about E being sick is she and I have hung out and connected, meeting just a bit more. E is an amazing brother and loves to play with her. It is hard to keep them apart. I hope we all stay healthy. Bummer is I sort of miss him, even though he is around. Just we are not as in sync.
Such an amazing experience, to have the two of them in our lives. We are so incredibly lucky they came home to us. I try to remember that when I am cranky, tired of doing the mounds of dishes, tired of playing BATMAN or BEN 10, and I dont want to clean up the cereal that I let her play with and now has hardened on the high chair. I didnt let E do that kind of thing and he hates getting messy. it almost killed me today to let her do it and I made her take a shower afterward. She loved it.
We did two activities from the OUT OF SYNC CHILD HAS FUN, and incredible book my sister lent to me, which has great ideas for things to do with all kids. Wrapped E up like a mummy, twice and did some shaving cream craziness and E "shaved" with his father. He didnt want us to post the picture, so I wont, but boy he was cute. Tomorrow, he is going to become a burrito and a caterpillar that turns into a butterfly.
E missed Andrea. So do I.
We were going to grandma's tomorrow, but I have to wait and see what the doctor says and if he has a fever still. Bummer.
I am so glad no one else got the virus as it was icky.
Found some amazing sponsorship programs today. One for Guatemala and one for Ethiopia. Here is what I found:
http://coeef.org/
http://www.commonhope.org/index.htm
With the economic downturn many people are having to not sponsor their children. Help them stay in school.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Pictures, Pictures, Pictures....
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
8 days a week
Rumsey is snoring. In our new house, the floor must be cold, cause Rumsey has decided he needs to sleep in the family bed. Great. Between one large standard poodle, and almost 6 year old, my dear husband, there is so little room for me or the baby. I guess we could use another bed. Someday, E will sleep in his new bunk bed all night. And guilt about not bringing the baby in for the whole night is an entirely different post.
Today is Zeno day. The day Zeno was born. He died sometime before the 26 of July and was born on the morning of the 28. 41 weeks he was with us. Rumsey was a puppy. A happy puppy at the time; we knew his life was going to change, but not the way it did. He tried so hard to take care of us, such a big job for a young dog. He still tries, which wears him out. He is so very good to us. He isnt very friendly to lots of people, but he cares so much for us, he just doesnt have room.
It's funny to miss Zeno this year with Lulu home, our house just unpacked some more, and crammed into shape for MDH's family to arrive. I have to remember that people's hearts are large, they just crack open to let more love in if you let them; loving E and B doesnt mean we dont love Zeno, our boy who didnt come home. Sometimes it hurts, even 8 years later. At least it doesn't hurt every single day, all day long. How does one remember, every day is a gift?
this is what 8 years is like.
(Now, they are all snoring. Okay, Rumsey stopped, but MDH, E and B. Enough. Maybe I should go sleep in the new bunk bed.)
Today is Zeno day. The day Zeno was born. He died sometime before the 26 of July and was born on the morning of the 28. 41 weeks he was with us. Rumsey was a puppy. A happy puppy at the time; we knew his life was going to change, but not the way it did. He tried so hard to take care of us, such a big job for a young dog. He still tries, which wears him out. He is so very good to us. He isnt very friendly to lots of people, but he cares so much for us, he just doesnt have room.
It's funny to miss Zeno this year with Lulu home, our house just unpacked some more, and crammed into shape for MDH's family to arrive. I have to remember that people's hearts are large, they just crack open to let more love in if you let them; loving E and B doesnt mean we dont love Zeno, our boy who didnt come home. Sometimes it hurts, even 8 years later. At least it doesn't hurt every single day, all day long. How does one remember, every day is a gift?
this is what 8 years is like.
(Now, they are all snoring. Okay, Rumsey stopped, but MDH, E and B. Enough. Maybe I should go sleep in the new bunk bed.)
Sunday, July 11, 2010
random thoughts & pictures from the past....
It is late. I played a sweet little show in SF at a bookstore. They have gotten grants to underwrite their music series and it is wonderful to play for a darling audience while surrounded by books. I played between the jazz record section and the travel section. Feels like a nice place to be.
And then we had some friends over from Ethiopia and they brought wonderful Ethiopian food. the boys played in the pool, and we ate and enjoyed our new house. What a treat. B loved everyone. I was late, cause of the gig, but it worked out.
I cant find the cord to download pictures. Great. Having a baby makes it impossible to finish any task, or so it seems to me. But she is so worth it.
I am going to post some random pictures from our Ethiopia trip and a few of B, since I cant find the cord. I also went back and posted some pictures to go with my old posts, but I feel as if I have so little time, and back to that, I feel as if I can never finish a task.
This one is a picture of B and her friend, warming in the sun for their 20 minutes of morning sun a day. Important for babies with brown skin. I guess it is now recommended for all children. B got mad at one point when her friend didnt smile and notice her.
MDH got printer ink today. YEAH! I deposited half the checks last week. The garage is suddenly a mess. I want so badly to empty it out, but both DH and I cant imagine getting that done. E has circus camp this week and i hope it is a blast.
here are the pics
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)